Aunt Flo is about a month overdue. Usually I dread the monthly visits, but now I long for the arrival.
I tried a home pregnancy test two weeks ago (ok, I was really optimistic for a week before that) and it was a big fat negative. Then I began noticing these strange hot flashes that would randomly occur during the day and some nights I would wake up in a sweat. I mentioned this to my acupuncturist and she advised me to make an appointment with my doctor as it might be a change in hormones. Oh, boy.
A week ago today I went to my doctor and told her my story; the whole story of the embryo transfers and the pregnancy losses -- that's when I had a mini meltdown and shed a couple of tears. She asked if we were going to continue with the fertility treatment and I said that was it. I told her we are looking into adoption and she was really supportive. She also told me that she has helped five of her patients adopt. Guess I never thought about doctors acting as liaison between patients want to adopt and patients who want to give up their baby for adoption. I must remember this when we move back to Canada.
She told me she wanted bloodwork drawn to see if I might be pregnant or if my hormones are crazy, and if I might be going into early menopause. Yikes. I replied that if I was going into early menopause then I wanted hormone replacement. So, I got the bloodwork drawn and the results came back: my estrogen is low and my FSH is 53! Agggh! I'm only 41! Yes, I am in early menopause. Oh, boy. Luckily I had an appointment for acupuncture later that day and that calmed me down. My acupuncturist pointed out through my tears that at least I have taken action and I am doing something about it.
I made an appointment with a gynecologist (who my doctor referred me to) for this Thursday. Hopefully she will tell me all about early menopause and hormone replacement therapy because I am freaked out about the negative impact of low estrogen on my body. So, I guess this may be good bye for Aunt Flo and me.
Showing posts with label acupuncture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label acupuncture. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Meltdown
This past week has been a rocky road for me as everday brings a new emotional rollercoaster. One hour I'm happy with life and the next I'm crying. I'm blaming hormones as I quit them a week ago and started bleeding three days ago.
Last hour I had a meltdown when I received a call from an RN at our health insurance provider offering a pre-natal service over the phone for if/when I get pregnant. I thanked her and told her we are no longer doing fertility treatments, but I would use the service if I suddenly were to find myself pregnant. She then mentioned that we could try adopting because she had heard stories of women who had adopted and then found themselves pregnant. (ARGHHHHHHHH!!!) Well, I told her that DH and I are in adoption limbo: we are Canadians living in the US (as DH tries to climb the corporate ladder); because we aren't American citizens we cannot adopt in the US or use an American adoption agency for a foreign adoption; but, on the other hand we cannot adopt in Canada, or use a Canadian adoption agency for a foreign adoption, because we don't currently reside in Canada (this is only available to Canadians overseas in the military or diplomatic service, NOT to those in the business world). At this point my voice started cracking and then it went downhill when I told her about my miscarriage a few months ago. Yes, I cried on the phone to a complete stranger. Oh, boy...still can't believe I did that. In the end I did manage to pull myself together and ask about getting my acupuncture covered as it is not covered if it is for fertility, but she did tell me to try and get them to start a new chart for me under 'general well being'. Hmmm, so acupuncture for something specific like fertility is not covered while acupuncture for 'general well being' is. Crazy.
The meltdown I just mentioned is an example of how my mental state has been this past week. DH has seemed to bounce right back. He was sad when I told him, but he's been trying to keep my mind, and his, off of things by organizing a trip away this weekend. We're off to the City and a bit of retail therapy, and since my waistline isn't quite back to normal yet thanks to all the hormones I will concentrate on shoes and bags. Plus, there's nothing like a hotel room for bringing out the amorous side. It will be wonderful to get away from the mundane details of life for a couple of days.
This past week DH has booked us a flight back to Canada to visit family later in July as he has meetings in the Canadian office at that time. No problem since I'm not pregnant. He's also contacted a realtor there about looking at houses while we're there. Whoa. This is a lot to absorb the week after my negative pregnancy test and deciding to end fertility treatments. I still can't think straight. I guess if we did move back then we could possibly look into adoption, although at 41 I'm not sure what our chances are of adopting a baby/young child. My head is still spinning and DH hasn't even asked his boss yet if he can transfer to the Canadian office. The dilemna is that DH's visa expires in 13 months so we need to know whether to start the Green Card apppication now or pack our things and transfer back.
Yes, this past week has been crazy for me. I've been trying to lose myself in cleaning therapy and movie therapy, both of which help me immensely. It's just that I'm coping with a number of things at once and trying to keep my head above water. Guess I'll just keep treading.
Last hour I had a meltdown when I received a call from an RN at our health insurance provider offering a pre-natal service over the phone for if/when I get pregnant. I thanked her and told her we are no longer doing fertility treatments, but I would use the service if I suddenly were to find myself pregnant. She then mentioned that we could try adopting because she had heard stories of women who had adopted and then found themselves pregnant. (ARGHHHHHHHH!!!) Well, I told her that DH and I are in adoption limbo: we are Canadians living in the US (as DH tries to climb the corporate ladder); because we aren't American citizens we cannot adopt in the US or use an American adoption agency for a foreign adoption; but, on the other hand we cannot adopt in Canada, or use a Canadian adoption agency for a foreign adoption, because we don't currently reside in Canada (this is only available to Canadians overseas in the military or diplomatic service, NOT to those in the business world). At this point my voice started cracking and then it went downhill when I told her about my miscarriage a few months ago. Yes, I cried on the phone to a complete stranger. Oh, boy...still can't believe I did that. In the end I did manage to pull myself together and ask about getting my acupuncture covered as it is not covered if it is for fertility, but she did tell me to try and get them to start a new chart for me under 'general well being'. Hmmm, so acupuncture for something specific like fertility is not covered while acupuncture for 'general well being' is. Crazy.
The meltdown I just mentioned is an example of how my mental state has been this past week. DH has seemed to bounce right back. He was sad when I told him, but he's been trying to keep my mind, and his, off of things by organizing a trip away this weekend. We're off to the City and a bit of retail therapy, and since my waistline isn't quite back to normal yet thanks to all the hormones I will concentrate on shoes and bags. Plus, there's nothing like a hotel room for bringing out the amorous side. It will be wonderful to get away from the mundane details of life for a couple of days.
This past week DH has booked us a flight back to Canada to visit family later in July as he has meetings in the Canadian office at that time. No problem since I'm not pregnant. He's also contacted a realtor there about looking at houses while we're there. Whoa. This is a lot to absorb the week after my negative pregnancy test and deciding to end fertility treatments. I still can't think straight. I guess if we did move back then we could possibly look into adoption, although at 41 I'm not sure what our chances are of adopting a baby/young child. My head is still spinning and DH hasn't even asked his boss yet if he can transfer to the Canadian office. The dilemna is that DH's visa expires in 13 months so we need to know whether to start the Green Card apppication now or pack our things and transfer back.
Yes, this past week has been crazy for me. I've been trying to lose myself in cleaning therapy and movie therapy, both of which help me immensely. It's just that I'm coping with a number of things at once and trying to keep my head above water. Guess I'll just keep treading.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Acupuncture
I love going for acupuncture. It makes me feel relaxed without a stress in the world. Well, it did until today. Honestly, I'm still somewhat relaxed but feeling slightly down after hearing that my acupuncture guru is packing his bags for the suburbs. Yes, he's leaving urban life for a medical building surrounded by chain restaurants. Can't blame him for trying to expand his business, but I may have to look for a new acupuncturist...
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Acupuncture Day
Today is acupuncture day. Okay, it's not an 'official' acupuncture day celebrated across the nation like Mother's Day. In my life acupuncture appointments are on Wednesdays and I look forward to each appointment.
It's been two weeks since my last appointment and hopefully this cycle will be more 'normal' than my last few: either too long or too short. I started going to regulate my cycles, but I've become addicted to the peaceful feeling that I get after an acupuncture treatment. It's a sense of 'balance' and that everything in life feels okay. It feels like I can face any adversity and all will be well.
Because I get that total sense of peace and relaxation after an acupuncture treatment, I try to organize and have household work finished before the appointment and always plan ahead and have leftovers ready to re-heat for dinner. Darling Husband doesn't mind too much because he knows I will be totally chilled-out tonight.
It's been two weeks since my last appointment and hopefully this cycle will be more 'normal' than my last few: either too long or too short. I started going to regulate my cycles, but I've become addicted to the peaceful feeling that I get after an acupuncture treatment. It's a sense of 'balance' and that everything in life feels okay. It feels like I can face any adversity and all will be well.
Because I get that total sense of peace and relaxation after an acupuncture treatment, I try to organize and have household work finished before the appointment and always plan ahead and have leftovers ready to re-heat for dinner. Darling Husband doesn't mind too much because he knows I will be totally chilled-out tonight.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Another Pregnant Belly Part II, All Is Not What It Seems
Had a return visit to the dentist this morning, and I was feeling anxious about the procedure and a bit wary about the woman with the pregnant belly working in the dentist's office. The whole dental thing was uncomfortable but necessary and I could not ignore it, though I was trying my best to ignore the pregnant belly at reception. Basically, I did not acknowledge her situation and everything went well until I was almost at the door and noticed the acupuncture pamphlet.
I stopped and blurted: "Oh, acupuncture.." while grabbing a pamphlet to take home and that is when our conversation began. She asked if I had tried acupuncture and then told me that she started going last year to balance her cycles as she and her husband had been trying to conceive for over two years. Then I told her that I had started going to acupuncture for the very same reason and that Darling Husband and I were having difficulty conceiving. It actually was wonderful talking to her and hearing about all the frustration she went through; all the stupid advice people give you (eg. go on a cruise or have a margarita) and the rude questioning about why you don't have a baby. She admitted that for the first four months of her pregnancy she didn't want to talk about it because she was in shock that she actually was pregnant.
Before leaving I asked her due date and wished her well knowing she had travelled down the same path as me and was now veering onto another course that I have yet to find the directions for...and maybe never will.
I stopped and blurted: "Oh, acupuncture.." while grabbing a pamphlet to take home and that is when our conversation began. She asked if I had tried acupuncture and then told me that she started going last year to balance her cycles as she and her husband had been trying to conceive for over two years. Then I told her that I had started going to acupuncture for the very same reason and that Darling Husband and I were having difficulty conceiving. It actually was wonderful talking to her and hearing about all the frustration she went through; all the stupid advice people give you (eg. go on a cruise or have a margarita) and the rude questioning about why you don't have a baby. She admitted that for the first four months of her pregnancy she didn't want to talk about it because she was in shock that she actually was pregnant.
Before leaving I asked her due date and wished her well knowing she had travelled down the same path as me and was now veering onto another course that I have yet to find the directions for...and maybe never will.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Needles & Pins
Going for another acupuncture session this afternoon. Finally off the herbs and I feel good. Apparently the herbs were supposed to 'clear' everything, and last weekend I think they did indeed. Honestly, I don't know if this will help with the fertility and perhaps I should have more faith. Maybe believing in something will help. The only certain thing is that it is giving me relaxation -- a definite stress-buster. It's all about finding 'balance' and I think I may be finally getting off the 'hormonal see-saw', but the journey is just beginning. Oh, boy, I am beginning to sound like some New Age person.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Pins & Needles & Herbs
Went for my first acupuncture treatment at the end of last week and I'm still feeling wonky. Okay, the whole wonkiness is not really due to the acupuncture itself, rather the herbal remedy the acupuncturist gave to me. Apparently I am to take these nasty tasting pills three times a day until they are finished and then no more. The treatment is apparently supposed to help shrink my tiny fibroid and help with infertility, as well as a list of other varied illnesses. Really. The only problem is that they are making me feel wonky and icky -- of course, that could also be PMS (as my Darling blurted to me yesterday evening).
Apart from the herbs, I love the whole acupuncture thing. There was a tiny amount of pain when he placed the needles, but then a certain amount of warmth if that makes any sense at all. Loved the relaxing asian music playing, but was a tad annoyed at how chatty my acupuncturist is. Afterwards I was incredibly relaxed and mellow and I had the most restful sleep I have had in a long time. Thank God my next appointment is tomorrow because I'm feeling very much like the poster-child of PMS today.
Apart from the herbs, I love the whole acupuncture thing. There was a tiny amount of pain when he placed the needles, but then a certain amount of warmth if that makes any sense at all. Loved the relaxing asian music playing, but was a tad annoyed at how chatty my acupuncturist is. Afterwards I was incredibly relaxed and mellow and I had the most restful sleep I have had in a long time. Thank God my next appointment is tomorrow because I'm feeling very much like the poster-child of PMS today.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
New Path
Yesterday I made an appointment for acupuncture. Tomorrow I will go for a consultation and see what is involved. Hubby is a tad concerned about the cost, but I assume it's no where close to the cost of fertility treatments. Part of me would like to try another IUI, but the big thing holding me back are the hormonal injections and how they make me feel. Here's hoping that the acupuncture will help me feel more balanced and relieve stress. I'm totally ready to take a new path in this adventure.
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