Sarah Jessica Parker Using a Surrogate

A couple of days ago I heard on the radio (while I was on my way to the clinic for bloodwork) that Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick (forever Ferris Bueller) are expecting twins via a surrogate. They also mentioned that the two had tried to conceive for several years with no luck and so they decided to use a surrogate.

I would like to thank Sarah Jessica Parker for being open and honest about her struggle to conceive a second child, and for being public about their use of a surrogate. They wanted to add to their family and chose the surrogacy route. Who cares whose genetic material was used because it's really none of our business. (Honestly, if I had all the money in the world I think I would have tried using a surrogate.) Hopefully this will help people to begin to accept surrogacy and tear off the stigma attached to it.

Still not sure if I can forgive her for spreading the 'if you adopt you will get pregnant' urban myth that was seen in the Charlotte storyline of the 'Sex and the City' movie.

Last Sunday's MM Episode

There was a great scene in last Sunday's Mad Men episode involving the couple that is having difficulty conceiving. It was interesting to see the two at the OB's office trying to discover why they are not getting pregnant. But, when Peter arrives home from work to discover that the doctor's office phoned to say that his 'sample' was viable it produced an argument. For myself, the argument hit close to home and it's an argument that most couples dealing with infertility face: whose 'fault' is it. The husband suggests that their life is wonderful the way it is and perhaps they shouldn't have a child, but the wife calls him immature. The scene ends with the wife asking, "If we don't have a baby then what is this all for?" to which he replies, "I don't know." Infertility must have been an even greater struggle back before Assisted Reproductive Technology emerged.

Another Pregnant Belly Part II, All Is Not What It Seems

Had a return visit to the dentist this morning, and I was feeling anxious about the procedure and a bit wary about the woman with the pregnant belly working in the dentist's office. The whole dental thing was uncomfortable but necessary and I could not ignore it, though I was trying my best to ignore the pregnant belly at reception. Basically, I did not acknowledge her situation and everything went well until I was almost at the door and noticed the acupuncture pamphlet.

I stopped and blurted: "Oh, acupuncture.." while grabbing a pamphlet to take home and that is when our conversation began. She asked if I had tried acupuncture and then told me that she started going last year to balance her cycles as she and her husband had been trying to conceive for over two years. Then I told her that I had started going to acupuncture for the very same reason and that Darling Husband and I were having difficulty conceiving. It actually was wonderful talking to her and hearing about all the frustration she went through; all the stupid advice people give you (eg. go on a cruise or have a margarita) and the rude questioning about why you don't have a baby. She admitted that for the first four months of her pregnancy she didn't want to talk about it because she was in shock that she actually was pregnant.

Before leaving I asked her due date and wished her well knowing she had travelled down the same path as me and was now veering onto another course that I have yet to find the directions for...and maybe never will.

Alexis Stewart Rocks!

Bravo to Alexis Stewart for going on Oprah yesterday to share her struggle with trying to conceive. Loved how dignified she was as she showed everyone what exactly is involved in trying to conceive when the odds are against you. It's great that she had the courage to show everyone the drug protocol and process that goes into a cycle of ivf. Love how she's not afraid to share her struggle -- because it is not something to be ashamed of and hidden from the public. The icing on the cake was when she put a bit of the blame on waiting too long to conceive on the media who portray these famous actresses who have children into their 40s. You know what I mean because they have been on the cover of women's magazines for the last 15 years. I agree with Alexis that these actresses should have been more honest and told the media just what is involved in getting pregnant in your 40s, namely hormone injections, ivf, and possibly donor eggs. Bravo to Oprah for highlighting the fact that infertility is now a multi-million dollar business that preys upon the heartache of couples willing to mortgage homes and drain life savings to have a child. I only hope that this is the beginning of breaking the infertility taboo.

Eat, Pray, Love

Last Friday I finally finished reading 'Eat, Pray, Love' by Elizabeth Gilbert. Alright, I will confess that I was motivated to finish it for Friday because she was going to be on Oprah, but I have been wanting to read this book since spring 2006. When it was first released in hardcover I read a review in the newspaper and knew that this book was for me. I cut out the review and put the book on my Christmas list for 2006. Of course no one gave it to me for Christmas, so I waited for it to come out in paperback and finally bought a copy this summer. I intended to start reading it while on a trip to California in August, but got sidetracked by reading a worn copy of 'Mommy Dearest' at a bed and breakfast in Carmel.

When I started reading the book in September it really 'spoke' to me, especially when she describes trying to get pregnant and her ambivalence towards this end. Then her journey towards finding her spirituality and inner peace. As of this date she has chosen not to have children, so I'm not really sure if I can classify her as "barren" since this has been her choice, but I'm going to make her an honorary Barren Babe since she is bucking the trend of going with the flow and having children.

If you have not yet read 'Eat, Pray, Love' by Elizabeth Gilbert run out and buy a copy -- or put it on your Christmas wish list. Maybe you will have better luck than I did with my list last year.

Tell Me That You Love Me

Hubby and I have started watching the HBO series 'Tell me That You Love Me'. To be honest, the show has potential but the pace is very slow and the sex is somewhat soft-core porn, but too real to really be a turn-on. What I love about this show is how it shows the darkside of marriage and relationships. Nothing is sugar-coated and sometimes it hits the mark and you wonder if they've peeped into your life.

One couple is dealing with infertility (funnily someone from 'US' magazine called it 'sterility' -- God, wish someone would educate those baby-carriage-chasing-tabloid-writers). It's great to see television finally take a look at what millions of people face everyday. What my husband and I find amusing is that the couple don't agree on whether to tell friends about their problem, and the husband on the program blabs to the friends that they are trying to conceive and the wife is furious. Darling Husband and I laugh because this situation is so much like the two of us. I would love to tell everyone (at this point in time because three years ago I would have died if anyone knew) our problem trying to conceive, but Darling Husband has issued a gag order.

Bravo to HBO for showing infertility. Let's hope that they don't get pregnant right away because this is supposed to mirror real life, right?