In a Funk

Since Labour Day weekend I have been in a funk about the whole adoption process. In September we met with another adoption licensee to register with her, and she told us what a 'sweet couple' we were and how she would try and help us find a birthmother. Yeah, we've heard that story before. Then, after we had given her our profile (and registration fee) we cannot reach her for comments for over six weeks. DH thinks the adoption licensees are a racket and I have no words to defend them.

October is the month we were married. With each anniversary comes celebration, but it also highlights what is not there and the years we have been busy trying to create a family. In nine years I truly thought we would have at least two children, but it is what it is. We have each other and we are closer than I ever thought we would be on our wedding day in 2002.

DH and I have begun talking about what ifs and a Plan B. If this adoption thing does not work out for us (no child) what will we do. It gives me hope that there may be new things ahead for us if we do end up childfree. At the moment our Plan B is to eventually buy a lot/property in the countryside and build a bungalow/craftsman/master bedroom on main floor, which seems like a dream to us much like adopting a baby is now. Instead of searching for baby stuff on the internet I have been checking out home design websites like this one.

Edith Wharton Monument May Close

Recently I discovered that the monument to Edith Wharton is facing foreclosure. Although I'm not positive that Wharton was the original Barren Babe, she did live a childfree life. She conceived great pieces of literature that will continue to survive long after we have turned to dust. Let's guarantee that she will be remembered and honored through contributing to keep her monument open to the public. Check out the website www.edithwharton.org to discover how we can keep the monument to this great author, and childfree babe, open to the public.

Childfree Santa Claus

It just hit me that Santa Claus is childfree. Does anyone know if he and Mrs. Clause ever had children?

Be a Santa to A Senior

One of the things that does scare me about remaining childfree the rest of my life is that I will be alone in a nursing home during my later years...and no one will visit me. Okay, I will admit that fear of loneliness in old-age is not a valid reason to have a child. Also, having a child is certainly not a guarantee that he/she will visit you when you are in a nursing home -- my SIL is a prime example, and a daughter of family friends totally cut her parents from her life. The grown child will more than likely stick you in a cheap facility so as not to drain his/her inheritance. So, if you remain childfree you will be able to pick your own nursing home/old folks home. I'll go for one with limo service and an open bar...might as well go out in style.

Here is a way to honor those seniors in our community who may be alone this Christmas. It's called Be a Santa to a Senior. You simply pick a 'decoration' on which a senior has listed a couple of items he/she would like to receive this Christmas. You purchase the item(s) and drop it off at a designated spot, and it is then gift-wrapped and presented to the senior by volunteers. It's a wonderful way to remember seniors in our community who may not have family that visit over Christmas. I really don't know how Barren Babes made it through years ago without fertility clinics and literature on coping with infertility. Many probably turned to adoption agencies, but what about the others who may have had a spouse divorce them because they could not reproduce? These must have been courageous and strong Barren Babes. Think about the Barren Babes that went before us and are now in seniors residences, and honor them by being a santa to a senior or visiting an old age home.

Eat, Pray, Love

Last Friday I finally finished reading 'Eat, Pray, Love' by Elizabeth Gilbert. Alright, I will confess that I was motivated to finish it for Friday because she was going to be on Oprah, but I have been wanting to read this book since spring 2006. When it was first released in hardcover I read a review in the newspaper and knew that this book was for me. I cut out the review and put the book on my Christmas list for 2006. Of course no one gave it to me for Christmas, so I waited for it to come out in paperback and finally bought a copy this summer. I intended to start reading it while on a trip to California in August, but got sidetracked by reading a worn copy of 'Mommy Dearest' at a bed and breakfast in Carmel.

When I started reading the book in September it really 'spoke' to me, especially when she describes trying to get pregnant and her ambivalence towards this end. Then her journey towards finding her spirituality and inner peace. As of this date she has chosen not to have children, so I'm not really sure if I can classify her as "barren" since this has been her choice, but I'm going to make her an honorary Barren Babe since she is bucking the trend of going with the flow and having children.

If you have not yet read 'Eat, Pray, Love' by Elizabeth Gilbert run out and buy a copy -- or put it on your Christmas wish list. Maybe you will have better luck than I did with my list last year.