Embryos

We heard back from the clinic today and 29 fertilized donor eggs have become embryos (out of 50 donor eggs--more than ten-times the eggs that I ever had with medical help). Not sure if they will all make it to Thursday for the embryo transfer, but at this point all we need are two embryos who will hopefully make themselves at home in my uterus for nine months. Please say a prayer for us.

Progesterone Land

Early Sunday evening Darling Husband and I entered Progesterone Land and we will never be the same again. My bottom will now be seen as a dartboard for needles by DH. Hopefully he will eventually view my naked butt as something sensual again, but that may take some time. Must admit that I love teasing him and saying that he actually has become a pain in the butt.

By this part of the whole IVF game I thought I had overcome my fear of needles. Each evening I had expertly given myself lupron injections using ever so fine insulin needles. But, when I took a look at the needle for the progesterone shot I freaked out and shouted that the pharmacy must have made a mistake and given us the wrong size of needles. We dug out the original prescription and they gave us what was prescribed. So, DH phoned the clinic and we got through to someone who confirmed that yes, this very long needle was indeed the one to be used to inject the progesterone as it needed to be injected into a muscle. At that point in time I covered my eyes, gained my composure and asked DH to give me the shot. We iced the area prior to the needle, which meant that I didn't feel a thing. The big thing for me is that I could never do this to myself, so I made DH promise to not travel for work during the time that injections are required -- even if he has to tell his boss about it.

Dealing With Octuplet Backlash

As a barren babe currently undergoing fertility treatment I have received a backlash of sorts from my Mother. Honestly, I love her so much and yet I can't get her to see the world through my eyes or experience. Ever since this crazy lady gave birth to eight babies thanks to a questionable RE who transferred six embryos, my Mother has been suspect to what DH and I are doing.

About a week from now (fingers crossed) I will have two embryos transferred. I am excited, scared, optimistic, and yet I still haven't decided whether to tell my Mother when it takes place. Do I need her judgement? No, just want her approval. But, I want to be relaxed and stress-free and I think if I tell her then I will be unable to achieve that place where no-worry exists.

Sleepy Head

Last weekend I started taking Estrace twice a day. Apart from the occasional nauseated tummy and headaches (which has the added benefit of drying up my appetite) I have become a big sleepy-head. In the morning I sleep late and am embarrassed to admit that I must will myself to roll out of bed before DH leaves for work. This afternoon I am completely zonked after forty minutes on the treadmill. As the evening wears on I will start nodding off after ten. This is not me at all. Perhaps I just got used to the ever increasing insomnia that began creeping into my life about the same time that my fsh levels began to climb. Just wish I could get motivated to write in the other blog I have...

Lupron Madness

Not sure if this is a side-effect of the lupron I started taking last week, but I am feeling incredibly irritable. Okay, maybe it's more likely that AF is due today or tomorrow. What's really strange about this cycle is that the doctor is in total control of my hormones. As a result, I feel out of control...I've been using the lupron as an excuse for my crabby behavior to long-suffering Darling Husband.

There is a glimmer of hope and that is the fact that we are using DE this cycle. We really didn't think my two follies could produce enough viable eggs for IVF...and the follicle count for the DE this cycle is twenty. So, my fingers are crossed and I am trying to maintain an optimistic outlook. Just wish I could shake my current lupron-induced grumpiness.

Good News

Last week was crazy with lots of doctors appointments.

First, I had another mammogram on a particular area on my right breast. Lots of anxious moments until I was told that they didn't find any masses, but did see some microcalcifications on a certain angle. So, I am to go back in six months so they can have another look and see if there has been any change.

Second, I had my blood pressure checked and it's down to 110/74. Cutting out salt has definitely had an impact, although I do still crave it every now and again.

Third, I had a sonohisterography and everything looks great according to my RE. Just wish the same could be said for my ovaries...

I'm starting Lupron tonight and I'm feeling a bit anxious about the needle. Aside from being scared of needles, I am full of hope. So crazy optimistic (or, perhaps just delusional) am I that I bought one of those pregnancy mags at the supermarket. I want to stay focused on a positive outcome. Am I nuts? Yes, probably, but it makes this process easier to deal with.

Crossing Fingers

Finally heard back from my GP yesterday afternoon. She said that there is an area in my right breast that 'most likely is glandular tissue' but is 'asymmetrical in an area' so the mammogram gurus want to check it out again. Guess there is a way to zoom in on certain areas. So, this weekend I am crossing my fingers, hoping and praying that this 'asymmetrical area' in my breast is merely glandular tissue and nothing more. I've been so full of hope about the next couple of months and this is just something I did not expect.