Thursday, September 1, 2011

Not The Chosen Ones

Three weeks ago DH came home from work and informed me that he had heard back from the adoption agency we had signed up with in July. Our profile had been presented, but the teenage girl and her boyfriend chose another couple as adoptive parents for their baby. Wow. Three weeks later I still feel a sting.

We knew the odds were against us as the birthmother wanted a younger couple, but we let hope creep in and before we knew it we were excited. I know I was anticipating positive results and had started thinking about baby names and even decorating the room next to ours as a nursery. Now I am thinking about making that room into a sewing/craft room.

Three weeks ago reality hit home and brought with it a touch of the blues. Not being chosen brought back ancient memories of past rejections. You know the ones I mean. The ones that befall a geeky teenage girl, like getting picked last for teams in gymn class, or sending a note declaring my admiration to the cool guy a grade ahead of me only to have him not respond because he is in love with my best friend (and will go on to date her throughout our college years). Not being chosen does not get any easier.

We have decided that not being told when our profile is being presented will be easier on us emotionally. Next Tuesday we are meeting with another adoption licensee as we think being with three might increase our chances. At least that is what I thought in July, but now I am not so sure.