I walked past a woman with a baby-stroller this morning and I did not cross the street or avert my eyes. Bravely, I looked her way and smiled. This may not seem like much to you, but this is a major step forward for myself. Oh, and I did not break down in tears afterwards. Everyday I am getting stronger and I am letting go of a dream bit by bit.

Private Practice

Just added the television show 'Private Practice' to the list of television shows with a Barren Babe as lead character Dr. Addison Montgomery is infertile. If I can remember correctly, she has an elevated FSH level on day 3 and only 2 antral follicles (lucky her, I only have one). Yikes! I still can't believe that this lingo is so familiar to me now. Glad to see that a new show is focusing on fertility as Addison is a Barren Babe and another doctor (can't remember the character's name) is a leading fertility specialist. Let's keep this show going. Perhaps it will reveal more struggles of infertility.

Alexis Stewart Rocks!

Bravo to Alexis Stewart for going on Oprah yesterday to share her struggle with trying to conceive. Loved how dignified she was as she showed everyone what exactly is involved in trying to conceive when the odds are against you. It's great that she had the courage to show everyone the drug protocol and process that goes into a cycle of ivf. Love how she's not afraid to share her struggle -- because it is not something to be ashamed of and hidden from the public. The icing on the cake was when she put a bit of the blame on waiting too long to conceive on the media who portray these famous actresses who have children into their 40s. You know what I mean because they have been on the cover of women's magazines for the last 15 years. I agree with Alexis that these actresses should have been more honest and told the media just what is involved in getting pregnant in your 40s, namely hormone injections, ivf, and possibly donor eggs. Bravo to Oprah for highlighting the fact that infertility is now a multi-million dollar business that preys upon the heartache of couples willing to mortgage homes and drain life savings to have a child. I only hope that this is the beginning of breaking the infertility taboo.

Wonderful Tonight

I just added Pattie Boyd's new autobiography 'Wonderful Tonight' to the Barren Babe booklist. From reading biographies of the Beatles and Eric Clapton I know that she never had children and it was suspected that she was barren. Pattie Boyd is then a major Barren Babe. I have not yet read 'Wonderful Tonight' but I can't wait, so I may have to purchase it myself instead of waiting for someone else to maybe give it to me for Christmas. If anyone else has read it please let me know.

Oh, J-Lo! I feel for you, I really do. Everyone is wondering if you are indeed pregnant. Rumor has it you have been visiting fertility clinics for a couple of years. Been there, honey, been there. If you are pregnant I am so happy for you. Just wish the tabloids, journalists, and the world would leave you in peace. Take it easy and know that you are still a babe if you are not with child.

Eat, Pray, Love

Last Friday I finally finished reading 'Eat, Pray, Love' by Elizabeth Gilbert. Alright, I will confess that I was motivated to finish it for Friday because she was going to be on Oprah, but I have been wanting to read this book since spring 2006. When it was first released in hardcover I read a review in the newspaper and knew that this book was for me. I cut out the review and put the book on my Christmas list for 2006. Of course no one gave it to me for Christmas, so I waited for it to come out in paperback and finally bought a copy this summer. I intended to start reading it while on a trip to California in August, but got sidetracked by reading a worn copy of 'Mommy Dearest' at a bed and breakfast in Carmel.

When I started reading the book in September it really 'spoke' to me, especially when she describes trying to get pregnant and her ambivalence towards this end. Then her journey towards finding her spirituality and inner peace. As of this date she has chosen not to have children, so I'm not really sure if I can classify her as "barren" since this has been her choice, but I'm going to make her an honorary Barren Babe since she is bucking the trend of going with the flow and having children.

If you have not yet read 'Eat, Pray, Love' by Elizabeth Gilbert run out and buy a copy -- or put it on your Christmas wish list. Maybe you will have better luck than I did with my list last year.

Tell Me That You Love Me

Hubby and I have started watching the HBO series 'Tell me That You Love Me'. To be honest, the show has potential but the pace is very slow and the sex is somewhat soft-core porn, but too real to really be a turn-on. What I love about this show is how it shows the darkside of marriage and relationships. Nothing is sugar-coated and sometimes it hits the mark and you wonder if they've peeped into your life.

One couple is dealing with infertility (funnily someone from 'US' magazine called it 'sterility' -- God, wish someone would educate those baby-carriage-chasing-tabloid-writers). It's great to see television finally take a look at what millions of people face everyday. What my husband and I find amusing is that the couple don't agree on whether to tell friends about their problem, and the husband on the program blabs to the friends that they are trying to conceive and the wife is furious. Darling Husband and I laugh because this situation is so much like the two of us. I would love to tell everyone (at this point in time because three years ago I would have died if anyone knew) our problem trying to conceive, but Darling Husband has issued a gag order.

Bravo to HBO for showing infertility. Let's hope that they don't get pregnant right away because this is supposed to mirror real life, right?

It's been such a long time since I've blogged that I had forgotten my password. This is a reminder to me to blog more frequently.