Friday, May 29, 2009

Looking Forward

Just survived a week at home with my parents. Love them dearly, but they have never been that great with the empathy/sensitivity thing. Perhaps it is because both are the 'babies' of their families and used to getting lots of attention and focus and not familiar with giving it. Guess it's a bit harsh but it is what it is and it's taken me a long time to realize this, accept it and let it be.

An example would be the fact that my Mother knows the loss I've recently gone through with the ectopic preganancy, and yet there is photo of my cousin's newborn baby sitting on the table in the middle of the living room. I tried to ignore it the first day I was home, but the second day I made a comment to get it out of my head. There it was day after day and it really got to me, but I did not want my parents to know that it hurt me. When I would come close to breaking down I would focus on the baby's wonky eyes: one is round and the other is almond-shaped. That poor child will grow up with uneven eyes like Tina Fey -- still haven't forgiven her for the 'miracle' pregancy ending of 'Baby Mama'.

I did let my Mother in on the fact that DH and I are going to be trying a FET this month. Not much reaction on her side and there's no surprise there. I am trying to be positive and look forward while forgetting the past, because you can't move ahead if you keep looking back.

1 comment:

barrenlands said...

I wonder if it's a generational thing? You're relationship with you're mom sounds very similar to the one I have with mine. My mom means well, but sometimes, the things she says are more hurtful than helpful (ie. "there are worse things that could happen" [yes, I know, but it's still hard to deal with], etc.). I used to try to explain why I might be moody, or not be interested in conversations about so-and-so's new baby, but now, I just grit my teeth and cope as best I can...I know she means well, but...

Best of luck with your FET!