Since Labour Day weekend I have been in a funk about the whole adoption process. In September we met with another adoption licensee to register with her, and she told us what a 'sweet couple' we were and how she would try and help us find a birthmother. Yeah, we've heard that story before. Then, after we had given her our profile (and registration fee) we cannot reach her for comments for over six weeks. DH thinks the adoption licensees are a racket and I have no words to defend them.
October is the month we were married. With each anniversary comes celebration, but it also highlights what is not there and the years we have been busy trying to create a family. In nine years I truly thought we would have at least two children, but it is what it is. We have each other and we are closer than I ever thought we would be on our wedding day in 2002.
DH and I have begun talking about what ifs and a Plan B. If this adoption thing does not work out for us (no child) what will we do. It gives me hope that there may be new things ahead for us if we do end up childfree. At the moment our Plan B is to eventually buy a lot/property in the countryside and build a bungalow/craftsman/master bedroom on main floor, which seems like a dream to us much like adopting a baby is now. Instead of searching for baby stuff on the internet I have been checking out home design websites like this one.
2 comments:
I am sorry you are in a funk but sometimes that is just where you find yourself.
I wish that all waiting couples, whatever their path to parenthood, would realize its culmination.
I just wanted to pop by and lend some support during your rough patch.
It is good to consider the alternatives and I hope that the child you are meant to have finds you before you find a plot of land.
You guys have been so open to multiple family-building paths; it seems especially unjust that your dreams have been (to date) denied. I'm so happy to hear, though, that your marriage hasn't been poisoned.
I have filled more than one graph-paper notebook with home floor plans. For a while, I was really into octagonal houses.
That website will claim several hours of my life; I can already tell.
I'm so sorry about your funk. I hope your spirits rise again soon.
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