Friday, June 1, 2012

June Already

I still can't believe it is June already. Time is flying by. During the month of May I stayed away from blogging -- and the blogs -- trying to forget about Mother's Day. My Mother downplays it (and it has always been treated as a greeting card holiday in my family) so it is not a huge deal at my family home, but MIL makes a big deal about it. We drove to DH's family home the day before and got take out friend chicken for dinner as I had BEGGED DH not to make me go to a restaurant on Mother's Day weekend. I survived Mother's Day 2012.

My gynecologist believes that my cyst is most likely a dermoid, which are usually benign. and my CA-125 came back with a really low number and the doctor believes this is good. My laparascopic surgery is scheduled for early July. I am nervous, but I just want this cyst out of my body.

In February I found a small lump below my breasts where my bra strap sits. It was the diameter of a pea, but hard and flat. At that point I was so busy with the ovarian cyst (running to MRI, ultrasounds), family stuff, traveling, that I waited until it was time to get my medical letter for the international adoption to address it. I had been thinking the worst, but I could not deal with it as the cyst. Thankfully my lump turned out to be a sebaceous cyst that had become infected, and nothing that ten-days of antibiotics couldn't fix. Big sigh of relief.

As for the adoption, we have been asked to gather documents/letters/fingerprints/photos in preparation for our dossier. When I first heard this I got so excited, but DH put my feet back on the ground and reminded me the big adoption agency still does not have a license for Vietnam. International adoption is a great deal of hurry up and wait. Now I am regretting telling people about our plans because they keep asking us when it's going to happen and everyone is amazed that it takes so long because there are "so many orphans in the world." Hopefully I am educating the fertile on the long process of international adoption.

Lately DH has been frustrated at his current place of employment. Several months ago he began subtly telling former colleagues that he might be open to a new challenge. Suddenly a few weeks ago an opportunity opened up, but first he must fly down south for an interview. I have mixed feelings because in life nothing comes without giving something up...and right now we cannot move due to our adoption dreams. Not saying anything more because he does not have an official offer, but it has been stressful dealing with the possibility of moving south again and my medical issues, not to mention the adoption stuff (the: is it happening or not question), plus family issues (my uncle's death, my parents aging, my sister not including us in family stuff), and house cosmetics (stripping wallpaper, painting, the deck rehab that is turning into a deck replacement).

Tonight DH and I are going out to this amazing restaurant downtown that we have not been to since December. I am super excited and the anticipation is over the top. Must remember to let worries slide off me like teflon.


It Is What It Is said...

I hope you had a fabulous dinner followed by a great sleep and lazy Saturday.

I am sorry for the 'hurry up and wait'ness of international (well, domestic, too) adoption and I know the void of that wait.

I can also relate to wishing you'd not shared your plans. I regretted telling some folks of our plans to cycle with donated embryos which proved to be a huge mistake during our first FET so I kept the 2nd FET completely under wraps which was hugely beneficial to my state of mind. It's not like you can 'un-tell' now but maybe if your frame the wait as "it will be AT LEAST 18 months" (or whatever) people will stop asking with such frequency and that will buy you a respite.

Good to hear from you and I am sorry about your health concerns. Hoping that you feel a whole lot better having your cyst surgery behind you and you can enjoy the balance of the summer.

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