Thursday, May 29, 2008
SATC Movie -- Should I see It?
The highly anticipated Sex and the City movie opens this weekend and I have a dilemna: should I go see it? I have been excited about this movie since hearing about the filming last summer, that was until a photo of a very pregnant Charlotte appeared online and in gossip rags about the same time. Surely this would be a fantasy sequence, right? But, no, today I saw a tv ad where she declares 'I'm pregnant!'...and, I have also read a couple of spoilers that point to her unexpected pregnancy. Oh, dear God. Charlotte gets a miracle. Can I hand a miracle? Will this miracle make me miserable if I go see the movie? Why does she get a miracle? Will they explain the odds against a miracle like this happening in reality? More importantly, I want to know when will I get my miracle? Sheesh...and they say truth is stranger than fiction.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
I Will Survive
I would like to announce that I survived Mother's Day. Okay, I will admit that all did not go as smoothly as I had hoped.
Darling Husband and I spent most of the day relaxing by the resort pool...which was full of families with young children. Guess they decided to make a weekend adventure out of Mother's Day. Surprisingly it was most helpful to DH and I because the majority of the children were loud and unruly. One does not yearn after rude children.
Dinner that evening was a bit of a nightmare. We arrived at the restaurant around 7pm, thinking that this would be late for dining with small children, but we were mistaken. We were surrounded by tables of small children. They were everywhere. When I asked if there was a quiet table, I was told no unless we wanted to sit in the bar area -- which was a windowless room featuring a giant screen television. We decided to tough it out...with a bottle of red wine to ease the pain.
Another weird thing was that as soon as we were seated at the restaurant I was asked if I had children. Hmmm, let's see: I am there alone with my husband on Mother's Day....isn't it safe to assume that I do not have children? When I curtly replied that I did NOT have any children, I was wished a Happy Mother's Day. When did Mother's Day become a big holiday? Perhaps it's a Marriott thing, I don't know, but DH and I found it bizarre. Guess we should have stayed in our room and ordered room service. Let's just say that the bottle of wine helped me survive that meal.
Darling Husband and I spent most of the day relaxing by the resort pool...which was full of families with young children. Guess they decided to make a weekend adventure out of Mother's Day. Surprisingly it was most helpful to DH and I because the majority of the children were loud and unruly. One does not yearn after rude children.
Dinner that evening was a bit of a nightmare. We arrived at the restaurant around 7pm, thinking that this would be late for dining with small children, but we were mistaken. We were surrounded by tables of small children. They were everywhere. When I asked if there was a quiet table, I was told no unless we wanted to sit in the bar area -- which was a windowless room featuring a giant screen television. We decided to tough it out...with a bottle of red wine to ease the pain.
Another weird thing was that as soon as we were seated at the restaurant I was asked if I had children. Hmmm, let's see: I am there alone with my husband on Mother's Day....isn't it safe to assume that I do not have children? When I curtly replied that I did NOT have any children, I was wished a Happy Mother's Day. When did Mother's Day become a big holiday? Perhaps it's a Marriott thing, I don't know, but DH and I found it bizarre. Guess we should have stayed in our room and ordered room service. Let's just say that the bottle of wine helped me survive that meal.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Mother's Day Sucks Sometimes
Mother's Day sucks sometimes. Ever since I miscarried over Mother's Day weekend two years ago I have come to hate this holiday. No, I don't hate my Mother, but I really hate the commercialization of a Hallmark Holiday. I loathe the ads that make anyone fertility challenged feel insignificant and inadequate because they can't have this holiday. "So sorry, but you don't belong to the motherhood club" is what I feel inside everytime I see a Mother's Day print ad or television commercial.
The coincidence of miscarrying on Mother's Day weekend is never lost, and each year I am constantly reminded of the grief and pain of that experience. Hopefully the sadness will subside with each passing year. Perhaps what really strikes me is that if I hadn't miscarried I too might be celebrating.
The bright side of this weekend is that Darling Husband has a conference out of town at a resort and I am going along with him. So, I will phone my Mother on Sunday, but after that I will hang out by the pool and get pampered at the spa. Maybe I'll even get wild and have a martini.
Yes, Mother's Day sucks sometimes, but sometimes you have to kick back and enjoy life. I'm taking back Mother's Day this year for myself and celebrating the joy of being alive. No one is going to make me feel crappy for not giving birth or raising a child, because I'm not going to let it happen.
The coincidence of miscarrying on Mother's Day weekend is never lost, and each year I am constantly reminded of the grief and pain of that experience. Hopefully the sadness will subside with each passing year. Perhaps what really strikes me is that if I hadn't miscarried I too might be celebrating.
The bright side of this weekend is that Darling Husband has a conference out of town at a resort and I am going along with him. So, I will phone my Mother on Sunday, but after that I will hang out by the pool and get pampered at the spa. Maybe I'll even get wild and have a martini.
Yes, Mother's Day sucks sometimes, but sometimes you have to kick back and enjoy life. I'm taking back Mother's Day this year for myself and celebrating the joy of being alive. No one is going to make me feel crappy for not giving birth or raising a child, because I'm not going to let it happen.
Hair God
I went to visit my 'hair god' this week to get the highlights touched up and a trim. For four years I did not color my hair just in case I might happen to get pregnant. But, as the years passed I realized that it may never happen and I was beginning to look older than I actually am due to those pesky gray hairs, so a year and a half ago I decided I wanted to look glam (and younger) again.
Like many women, I love going to get my hair done. I totally unload on my 'hair god' and he knows all about my fertility challenged life, not to mention that I always feel great with updated color, new cut, and styled hair. So, I was surprised when I arrived, sat in the chair and happened to notice the baby in a 'carrier' at the feet of the lady next to me getting her hair cut. Happily, I did not get emotional or teary-eyed. But, I was a bit annoyed because it took something away from my salon experience. Everyone spoke in hushed tones so as not to disturb the baby, thus making it next to impossible to chat and giggle with my 'hair god'. Then it was the 'baby talk'. I'm not going to get into it, but really annoying when you're in a very adult place. Not even the soothing new age music can keep a baby from crying.
Personally, going to a hair salon is a relaxing and enjoyable time away from my life, and having the baby there did not make for a wonderful experience. It makes me wonder why the mother felt the need to bring the baby. She could have waited for the weekend when her husband was home, left the baby with him, and then she could have some time for herself...at least, that is what I would do. Makes me wish there could be 'adult only' places. Hmmmm, wonder if there are any licensed hair salons that serve alcohol...for patrons only of course. Tipsy stylists could be dangerous, and make for some crazy hair styles.
Like many women, I love going to get my hair done. I totally unload on my 'hair god' and he knows all about my fertility challenged life, not to mention that I always feel great with updated color, new cut, and styled hair. So, I was surprised when I arrived, sat in the chair and happened to notice the baby in a 'carrier' at the feet of the lady next to me getting her hair cut. Happily, I did not get emotional or teary-eyed. But, I was a bit annoyed because it took something away from my salon experience. Everyone spoke in hushed tones so as not to disturb the baby, thus making it next to impossible to chat and giggle with my 'hair god'. Then it was the 'baby talk'. I'm not going to get into it, but really annoying when you're in a very adult place. Not even the soothing new age music can keep a baby from crying.
Personally, going to a hair salon is a relaxing and enjoyable time away from my life, and having the baby there did not make for a wonderful experience. It makes me wonder why the mother felt the need to bring the baby. She could have waited for the weekend when her husband was home, left the baby with him, and then she could have some time for herself...at least, that is what I would do. Makes me wish there could be 'adult only' places. Hmmmm, wonder if there are any licensed hair salons that serve alcohol...for patrons only of course. Tipsy stylists could be dangerous, and make for some crazy hair styles.
Marcia Cross on The View
As I was channel surfing I this morning I just happened to find Marcia Cross on The View. It was refreshing to find an actress actually admitting how difficult it is to get pregnant after age 40. Not sure if anyone else noticed this, but when asked if either of her daughters looks like her she deflected the question by saying that they look more like their father. Hmmmmm, wonder if she did use donor eggs. But, if she did, who's business is it anyway? I wonder how women that have children using donor eggs/ or sperm react to nosey people commenting on who the child looks like.
Monday, April 28, 2008
It's Hard To Keep a Good Woman Down
Unfortunately, last weekend dear aunt flo came to visit. Of course, I am always somewhat let-down when this happens as I always hold out for the 'miracle' to happen...and I am always disappointed. Hope can be a dangerous thing.
When the disappointment strikes I comfort myself by indulging in sushi and alcohol, and so Darling Husband and I went out for sushi and I had a yummy lychee martini. We also went to see a couple of live bands. Nothing like raw fish, booze, and live music to boost one's spirits.
Must comment that I actually encountered a very pregnant belly (wearing a tight shirt...why do women do this?) at the music venue. I totally was not expecting to see a huge pregnant belly and felt a sinking feeling in my tummy when I saw her. But, what really made me happy was that Darling Husband instinctively knew I would be affected by this sight and reached out and put his arm around me and rubbed my back. It was his kind and empathetic action that prevented me from emotionally reacting.
When the disappointment strikes I comfort myself by indulging in sushi and alcohol, and so Darling Husband and I went out for sushi and I had a yummy lychee martini. We also went to see a couple of live bands. Nothing like raw fish, booze, and live music to boost one's spirits.
Must comment that I actually encountered a very pregnant belly (wearing a tight shirt...why do women do this?) at the music venue. I totally was not expecting to see a huge pregnant belly and felt a sinking feeling in my tummy when I saw her. But, what really made me happy was that Darling Husband instinctively knew I would be affected by this sight and reached out and put his arm around me and rubbed my back. It was his kind and empathetic action that prevented me from emotionally reacting.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Pam & Sue-Ellen
Just added the television show 'Dallas' to the list of shows with a Barren Babe. The first year of the show focused on the characters of Sue-Ellen and JR and their 'lack of children' after 7 years of marriage. I rewatched the first three years of the show a few years ago on the Soap Network and was surprised by that storyline.
Another 'Dallas' character with fertility issues was Pam who suffered from a couple of miscarriages. But then -- and I can't remember the specifics -- she was either told that she could not carry a baby to term, and/or she was the carrier of a genetic disease.
If you do happen to catch these episodes from the 70s, please note the way that infertility is portrayed as a type of 'hysteria' that affects the mental health of the 'afflicted' character. I wonder if this was really how society viewed the plight of Barren Babes just 30 years ago.
Another 'Dallas' character with fertility issues was Pam who suffered from a couple of miscarriages. But then -- and I can't remember the specifics -- she was either told that she could not carry a baby to term, and/or she was the carrier of a genetic disease.
If you do happen to catch these episodes from the 70s, please note the way that infertility is portrayed as a type of 'hysteria' that affects the mental health of the 'afflicted' character. I wonder if this was really how society viewed the plight of Barren Babes just 30 years ago.
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