Late yesterday afternoon, while DH was busy doing laundry and making lasagne, I willingly tried to help him on the food front. Of course, he hates it when I try to cook with him as I invariably make comments about how I would do it. Adding more nutmeg to the ricotta cheese than the recipe called for really ticked him off. In my defense, he had added more ricotta than what was in the recipe -- I use a recipe as a guideline, not the rule. Heated words were exchanged and I stormed off to our bedroom only to discover a bed strewn with laundry fresh from the dryer. Mama Mia!!
In retrospect I realize he was only trying to help, but between my freaking out about wrinkled laundry (I hate to iron) and his freaking out about multi-tasking (maybe it's a guy thing) we ended up fighting. Unfortunately, since my parents never fought in front of me while I was growing up, I never learned to fight 'well' and either walk away or begin to cry. And so, I began to cry. Then it felt like my blood was boiling and that made me more upset. It was totally irrational and I couldn't explain why I was upset, but then I couldn't stop.
After I finally did stop crying I was scared to death that I had harmed the pregnancy. I am so emotional lately, but is it possible that my emotional outburst and spike in bp could end my pregnancy? Just feeling really guilty today. I have no pregnancy symptoms except sore breasts and an aversion to red meat. Must remember to stay calm until at least the ultrasound next week.
4 comments:
Oh, Babe. What a difficult experience. Your hormones are churning, your blood supply is expanding, and there's so much worry and wonder just beneath the surface. It's no wonder smallish frustrations lead to big emotions. There's no way it hurt the pregnancy - you'd have to have a seizure or something to do that. Give yourself a break. Here's wishing you some smooth sailing in the days ahead.
And I'm with you about recipes. And nutmeg.
I'm sure the baby is fine - you will probably feel better if you can remain calm though! But remember your body is raging with hormones right now so emotions are going to be high. Take care!
I had to chuckle when reading the first part. I cannot cook with my husband either. It seems as though it should be very romantic. You'd also think we'd be very grateful. As it turns out, I guess I'm a bit of a control freak! I'd never admit that to DH though.
Release yourself from your guilt. That's an order! Just kidding:)! I'm sure that the baby is fine. Tender breasts are a great sign. Try to hang in there until next week!
T
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