Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Sliding Into Sadness

I was really doing well yesterday; feeling strong and optimistic about the present and future. So when Darling Husband came home from work and we were chatting I tempted fate and asked if he had heard if anyone from back home was pregnant, as he finally knows not to spring that information on me, and it is always better to hear such news when I am feeling good.

He replied that he had not heard of any news, but he discovered that a former workmate and his wife had a baby from checking out the workmate's Facebook page. (I am soooooo hating Facebook these days as people my age are using it as a tool to show pregnant bellies and track their pregnancy, but this may be another post.) Then he asked what date I wanted to move back home because he is really hating his job and misses old friends, and wants to start his own consulting company where he has more contacts.

Maybe I was ready to handle the baby thing, but not at the same time as the whole 'pick-up and move' thing. Just thinking about his old workmate and wife 'getting' my dream made me slide down the slippery slopes of sadness. All I could think was 'where is my fairytale happy ending?' let alone when to give notice at our apartment, and whether to pay people to pack our things -- I want to and Darling Husband does not. Ughhhhh! Shed a few tears and had my hour or two of sadness. Still, I want to know where is my 'fairtale' ending? This real life is difficult.

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