Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Estrogen Days

Today I bumped up my estrogen intake. I'm on estrogen patches instead of pills and they are a gift from God. The pills gave me terrible headaches whereas the patches just make me woozy whenever I add an extra one, and today I am on three. Before the last FET in January I scratched the car on the curb when I was on three patches and so I've decided not to drive this week. DH will chauffeur me to and from acupuncture tonight.

According to my accupuncturist I am supposed to relax and not undertake anything stressful before the transfer. This is easier said than done with me. Since I will try to stay off my feet after the transfer until the pregnancy test I have been trying to do some extra cleaning. DH will take over the cleaning duties, but he cleans as quickly as possible and ignores dusting. Perhaps I should introduce him to the feather duster in the closet. I am also going through my closet and purging clothes that no longer fit or that I haven't worn in a year. This is difficult for me because I get sentimental about clothes. I still have a pink wool sweater set that I bought right after I first started dating my husband 10 1/2 years ago -- back when I was a size 4. Yes, that was many sizes ago but I can't part with it even though I'm giving all of the unwanted clothes to Goodwill.

The estrogen makes me overly emotional. Tears start flowing whenever I hear a sappy song on the radio, or something sentimental on television. We finally watched the finale of Celebrity Apprentice last night and the tear floodgates opened when Bret Michaels limped onstage. An hour ago I was reading a gossip website that listed new celeb pregnancy announcements and I started tearing up. It is good news that Celine Dion and Mariah Carey are pregnant since they are around my age, but I just started feeling sad...sad about the miscarriage in February. I've been so optimistic about the FET next week that I haven't thought about the miscarriage in a long time. Now doubt is starting to creep back into my thoughts about the FET. All I can think about are the odds of it working again twice in a row. Maybe I'll feel better after acupuncture tonight.

1 comment:

AmyG said...

Wow. Everything so close to the surface! Bret Michaels, even. I do and I don't like those times. I feel more insightful about my emotions, but, yeah - every little thing.

Sending my good thoughts.